Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Week 11 Storytelling: The Last Bird




. . . 
ONCE I saw a little bird
Come hop, hop, hop;
. . .

For several months, I have waited for you to appear. You are the last one on my list -- the blue jay. I can't wait to meet you. Are you a boy or a girl? My grandma and I have tried to meet every bird that lives in my area, and we have been working on it for as long as I can remember. I am now seven years old, but in just a few weeks I will be eight. My goal is to finish this list before I am eight so that we can start on a new list. I think I want to try butterflies next! Oh, no! This is my chance!

. . .
So I cried, "Little bird,
Will you stop, stop, stop?"
. . .

Please stop! I must meet you. Surely you understand how important this is. I am almost eight! I've met your friend the red robin -- she was really pretty. I wonder if you are friends with that woodpecker. He got on my nerves. I am so glad I do not need to meet him again. Oh, and the hummingbird! I do not understand how something so small can fly. I, too, am small, but sadly I cannot fly. My grandma says this is normal, but I think I could make wings for myself to try. Imagine where I would go. Maybe I could go and meet your grandma. We could have fun parties and be best friends. I must come and meet you!

. . .
And was going to the window,
To say, "How do you do?"
. . .

What do you do every day? Do you have a job? Where do you live? I wish to know these things. My dad is a lawyer. I am not sure what that means, but he does know some really big words. He tells me that I know some big words for my age, so maybe I'll be a lawyer, too. My mom is a school teacher. She does not work at the school I go to, but I think that is for the best. I get into trouble. My teacher tells me to wear my jacket so I don't get wet, but getting soaked from rain is like swimming on land. I bet you do not like the rain because of what it does to your feathers. I bet your home is somewhere that is always dry. Do you have children? What about grandchildren? Would you take them to meet every kind of people? I am almost there so that I can ask you all of these things!

. . .
But he shook his little tail,
And far away he flew.
. . .

Wait! Where are you going?! I had so many questions! And I am almost eight! How will I complete my list? I do not want to wait several months more just to try and see you again! I was almost to the window where you perched. Is something wrong? Did your family call you away? Sometimes I am having fun but my mom calls for me to leave. I do not like to leave, but I guess I have to if she needs me. Well, I hope we soon meet again. I cannot meet the butterflies until I have met you.

 ~ ~ ~ 

Author's Note: I based this story on a nursery rhyme about someone trying to meet a bird that ends up flying away before he or she can. The italicized words are the actual nursery rhyme, taken directly from the source. All of the other text is what I have added. In my case, it was the internal dialogue of a child. For my retelling, I imagined the person meeting the bird to be a young child, about seven years old as indicated in the story. The most important thing I strived to do was to try and recreate the mind of a young child. Children often talk to things that aren't human as if they were, and I wanted to replicate that. I also let the thought of the child go down long tangents because children's minds will run wild. 

Bibliography: Nursery Rhymes: Natural History, Part 1 from The Nursery Rhyme Book by Andrew Lang

Image: Blue Jay with peanut, via Wikimedia Commons

3 comments:

  1. This story made me sad to think about just going from the title. The Last Bird. It just sounds so sad. But I love how you started you story with a poem and in italics. I think it helps the reader to understand the tone of the story better. I also like how you wrote your story in first person. It flows very well. Nice job!

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  2. The title of this story invokes a feeling of morn and dread to soon find out how this bird came to be the last bird in the narrative. Beginning the story with a poem was a nice way to counteract the initial negative feelings from the title. Presenting the story in a first person perspective and one that I found to be enjoyable.

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  3. Todd,
    I loved what you incorporated into the story. You could tell that you put a lot of thought into thinking through the mind of the child and choosing the specific kind of character. I was sad that the bird had to leave and wasn't ever met. That would be interesting if they were somehow able to meet. I thought your title connected well with the story. Great job, I found it was very easy to follow along to your writings.

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