In response to your comment on my intro, it's never too late to start playing tennis!! I can definitely offer up my expertise and take it to the court with you if you'd like! I plan to pick up playing again sometime this semester, hopefully! I should also try challenging myself to read more, though time really does take a hold of me with work and school and other activities outside of those. Whenever I stop stressing, I'll definitely try to read more, because I can understand the trade-off between reading and watching films!
Hi Todd! I've decided to leave a comment on your the introduction to your storybook this week. I chose this storybook because of the name! I love stories that bring in the modern day with old myth and folklore stories. Also, retweet has become a word that is so common in youth culture today even though just a few years ago many people wouldn't even know what that means. I chuckled throughout reading your introduction. It was very funny the way that you've used humor to talk about your stories. I like that at the end you've also made a point about our society. I think older generations are too quick to judge young people that have met online as well as younger people are too quick to assume a relationship won't last if those are the circumstances among which people have met in the first place. If this was my storybook, I would continue with the humor as well as having the social message in there, too. Great job!
Your intro is very intriguing! It gives me a good sense of what’s to come. You’ve clearly outlined three different classic stories and put an interesting spin on them. But it doesn’t give too much away, which makes me want to read more. I think the Little Mermaid story grabs my attention the most—she sounds a little crazy. And fun to read about.
So, are you going to write these stories in chatlog-type formats? Or through twitter or facebook posts? That’s the impression I get. It would work perfectly—like epistolary novels with a modern twist. I also thought it was cool to see nods to things in the original works, like the Little Mermaid being afraid to speak. Those little details are very clever.
There’s not much I can critique right now, but maybe you could add a few specific details into each story blurb—something that would evoke a certain place or a certain look for a character. Like if you mentioned Red Riding Hood’s cherry-red beanie, or mentioned that the Little Mermaid found the guy’s wallet on the street outside her favorite antique store. Stuff like that. But other than that, it looks great!
Your intro was great! It was a really unique idea to combine social media and fairytales. You also did a great job incorporating your subtle humor throughout the whole thing while still explicitly laying out the three stories to come. You gave just enough information of the story you would be discussing to draw the reader in and leave them wanting to know what comes next. I like how you worked in the lingo of the app you were talking about. I am interested to see if the formatting of each story differs based on what app the characters are supposed to be communicating through. It was clever to personify Love and Social Media, it gave you another way to approach them and give commentary on them from the viewpoint of different generations. I also like how you took a side and gave your opinion on social media, even though it can get a bad rap. I am really looking forward to reading your other stories!
Hi Todd! Wow, I really was fascinated by the layout of your project's website! The images were perfectly designed in way to make readers interested in what you have written about! The introduction was definitely exciting to read! It really captured my attention, and the way you personified love and social media was captivating. I wonder if your introduction would be stronger if you were to give some type of idea of what a reader is about to read on the cover page of your website. What if you added a small blurb that would get the reader to click the introduction? I automatically knew to click the introduction as part of the assignment, but in the case that someone visits your site without any knowledge, maybe the coverpage could guide them in the right direction. I also really admired your title, because I was able to infer that this project had to do with some aspect of social media! I noticed that you chose the words "love at first retweet"! What if you also incorporated Twitter somehow in your introduction?! This is absolutely wonderful, and I really am looking forward to seeing how you build up your project and read more about what is to come! Nice job!!!
I really like your idea of using modern technology as a part of your storybook. I think that your Tinder story is pretty funny! It is very creative! I think that what you have so far will make your storybook really great! I am really curious about each of the stories that you will include in your storybook! You have such a big range, so you can really include a lot of detail into the work. While writing your stories, I feel like the descriptions are going to be a really important part of the storytelling! I like the design of your storybook. It is simple but effective! In some parts you used a lot of the same adjectives. What if you changed these up a bit to add more to the introduction? Specifically, this happened when you said “Psyche and her jealous sisters. Now, they were definitely jealous”. We already know that they were jealous, so maybe you could switch up the second jealous to another descriptive word.
Your introduction was so much fun to read, and made me look forward to your storybook! My favorite part is how you incorporated Social Media with classic stories. It’s crazy to see how many people do find love through Social Media, and how people actually use some of these websites because it is efficient and quick. However, I am more curious about what you mean by “He doesn’t do it the old way!” I felt lost when I read that, so maybe you could elaborate more on what you want your readers to understand in the last paragraph. What if you put a comma, or a dash after that sentence, and just elaborate by starting off an explanation with the word “meaning,” and then continue to explain. It’s just a suggestion, but I truly loved your intro, and the picture you used with the pink heart. It’s simple, but caught my attention.
Hey Todd! This introduction was so catchy and fun to read! You are clearly so creative in ways I envy! Lol. I basically felt the ‘wow’ factory the whole time with the way you personified love, social media, and algorithm. It was brilliant! It actually took me a while to catch onto the fact that you were doing that… But I don’t think it was because you did anything wrong, it just always takes me a while to catch on. I like how you kind of make the reader wonder what’s coming next, you made me want to keep reading! I’m trying to think of things I can critique you on, but I really did love this post. The lay out of your storybook is clear and appealing, your paragraphs are split up nicely. Great job on the intro Todd, I can’t wait to come back and read more!
Hey Todd! Your introduction was a joy to read! It really portrayed your creativity and made me excited as a reader to read more of your stories! To start off your title was very catchy and made me interested about what perspective you had on the topic of love. I enjoyed how you portrayed the contrast in perspectives of love and how it is related the development of technology and social media. What was the motive of choosing this topic if you don't mind me asking? I am interested in seeing what stories you are going to make out of these ideas. Good job and looking forward to reading more!
So I find this very interesting. I feel like there is more going on that what is at the surface but I am struggling to follow along. One of the reasons could be that I am quite a bit older than you, most likely. That said, what if you were telling this story to your parents or perhaps your grandparents? Some these concepts, believe it or not, everyone might not understand the concept for instance of them “going thru a Myspace phase” I barely did. What if you elaborated on the concepts a bit more for the purpose of drawing in your reader. The idea that each of these concepts are actually people with personalities is a pretty cool idea. You are breathing life into these concepts and making them capable of feeling etc…. I think that is an original idea with some very great potential. What if the concepts started talking to us and were able to better showcase their personality?
Your title caught my eye! That is such a modern twist on love in this age. I like the photo you used for your intro page as well. This is a really fun and comedic storyboard; I am so glad I viewed it. The different social media platforms are great, I even cracked up when MySpace was mentioned. Though there are sections briefly describing upcoming characters, I wish there was a little more descriptions of them in addition to their backstories. The title is Love at First Retweet, but I do not think I read anything about Twitter or a retweet? That is just a nitpicky thing, so incorporate Twitter in there somehow and it will be perfect. Love and Social Media… I’m so fascinated by this concept, and coming up with critiques was an extremely difficult task. Great idea! I am excited to see how your stories develop throughout this semester!
You introduction is great. You do such a good job at getting the reader's attention and getting us excited to see what comes next. I think it is awesome how you are taking the stories we have read and putting a very different spin on them by using social media. I have not seen anyone do that yet and its cool that you decided to. Social media is critical in our society to stay connected and I am interested to see how you use it to form your stories. I really liked also that you used quirky dialogue to speak about what was to come next. It wasn't just reading words off the page but felt as if you were communication right to us as if we were in front of you. Your blog is also humorous which makes it a very entertaining read for those of us we will be following your stories.
Hey Todd! First off, I need to tell you that I am incredibly excited for your storybook! I cannot wait to see what happens when you talk more about other couples and tell us their stories of how they came together. I love when people modernize stories! I feel that it gives the characters a chance to become more and more relatable. I felt like you were talking to me rather than me reading something and I feel that itself is a huge accomplishment for a writer! I can also imagine that social media can get us into all kinds of trouble which is why I can't wait to hear all about the misunderstandings, fights, crazy wars, etc. that are caused by all of the social media that is now available to all of these characters! Good Luck! I can't wait to read your first story.
Hi Todd! First of all, thank you for your suggestions with my storybook project. They were super helpful! I think it is awesome that you are using social media in your project as well! Also, your title is great! I think it is awesome how you have personified Social Media, but I would like pre background on who Social Media is as a person. I would also like the same for the Algorithm, only because I was a little confused. There were a lot of characters being thrown out there, but it is nice that most of them were familiar! I enjoyed the humor throughout the introduction, and I hope that it continues in your stories! I loved your inclusion of the red beanie detail, as well as your clever inclusion of the idea that the Little Mermaid just wouldn't use her voice. It really helped me identify with your stories because those were very familiar details. I am excited to see your new versions of these classic stories!
I love how you made social media a person. I like that you also brought out some of the popular media outlets to show how Social Media is connected to these stories. You did a great job of tying in your stories! I am excited to see what you do with the little mermaid, and I like how you made it out as though she lost her voice in a way. you are definitely leaving me on the edge of my seat with making it sound as though it won't be a happy ending! The Algorithm sort of threw me off, I did not really connect at first that they were a person. If you are looking to expand your story I would add a few more details on who these characters are. Over all great introduction that sets you up for great stories! I am excited to see how Social media and The Algorithm play into your stories!
Todd, I like where you're going with your intro! I never even thought about giving human qualities to social media and the like. That's pretty ingenious, I'll give you that! So, I'll just leave you some of my comments on your intro. Firstly, my mind was blown from your first paragraph when you wrote that Love was tired from doing its job. At first I was confused, but I started to understand pretty quick what you were doing. It'll definitely be interesting to read about how you work with this in your future stories! Secondly, I like how you draw from three different sources for your stories. I never thought about Red and the Wolf as going steady haha. Thirdly, after reading your intro I was thinking if you were going to have any conflict between Love, Social Media, and Innovation? Seeing as they're old vs. new in a way. I thought this might be an interesting thing to write about/include in your stories. It could also be a reason(s) why some relationships didn't work out? Anyway, great intro man!
Todd, I loved the idea you had for your storybook! I think it is so clever and that there are so many different things you can do with the social media "tweeting" aspect of the story. I like how you give information of what is to come in your stories. I think you should consider making a character list, so that we could know what to expect or who to expect in the stories that you are going to write. It would help to make it more clear on where the tweets are coming from and the types of personalities behind them. Other than that, I am really looking forward for everything that you have to come.
Todd, this is a really creative idea! I think a great way to go about it is to set up each story with a social media platform layout. For example, the Cupid and Psyche story could be told through Myspace and their messages between each other/bulletin posts. Rather than just telling us what happened it'd be neat for you to show us. If that's what you were already planning on doing then I can't wait to see how it turns out, if not, think about it! Unless your idea is way cooler, then of course go for that. The best trick I've learned from storytelling is introducing "spines" for each character. It's basically a behavior that they have and the reason/event/motto they act that way no matter the situation. It challenges you more as a writer too, to write toward a character's personality rather than just adding in some drama and random reactions. My favorite example for character spines is Chandler from "Friends," his parents got divorced and dad dresses like a woman, so he found humor to cope with that event, now he uses humor to combat obstacles in his adulthood. Maybe these can be explained in their bios? Best of luck!
Todd, I just read through your storybook introduction and your first story. I must say, I think you're off to a great start! I think it's interesting that you're taking the old stories and sensationalizing them with modern things like tinder. I love that you included photos in your story that were super relatable, and definitely showed a lot of effort and thought. I also love that you included the tinder "chat"- I think that this makes your story that much more relatable and interesting. I think that you did a very good job of integrating social media chat, conversations, and story into your storytelling. I think that you did a very good job and honestly I'm having a hard time coming up with any suggestions for you! I think that your introduction was perfect for your storybook and gives a good insight into what you're writing about, as well as your writing style.
I remembered reading your introduction a while ago, so I was excited to see how your first story turned out! You did a great job! Just some quick typo fixes, "she had some really high standard" -- just adding an s to make it "standards" and "very important to Little Red, So he stopped" -- the s in "so" doesn't need to be capitalized. You did a great job of integrating the messaging format within the paragraph format. Ha I laughed at the 15 year old comment because this does remind me of instant messaging in middle school. You did a good job of capturing the slight awkwardness that is starting online communication. Your reimagined version of this story makes a believable love story between Red and the wolf. I like how you took the two who were enemies in the original story and made them love interests. This story almost makes me forget everything I have learned about the wolf growing up. Your writing style is very conversational and easy to read. Keep up the good work!
Hi, Todd! The last time I read your introduction, I knew I had to come back and read more. I absolutely am a fan of your concept. The first paragraph sets the perfect mood for the rest of the story. A small question I found myself asking was, but why is love capitalized? Is that for emphasis? Haha, I laughed at Big Bad’s real name. The whole story had me chuckling. I know Tinder as a platform people use to basically have one night stands, but you had the characters meeting family already! That is a big shock to the normal use of Tinder. The plot twist throughout the story was a great touch. It was nice to see something different from what I knew growing up. The wolf is even a gentle soul here. I am super excited to read more throughout the semester! Keep up the good work.
Hey, I just read your storybook project. First, I’d like to say that I love the idea you have for your storybook project and I think it’ll be a fun one to read as it develops! I mostly like the look of your page but the banner photo on the first page threw me off a little bit. It seems like the theme for all your stories will be about love and that picture on the first page of the woods just doesn’t really portray that to me. It seems dark and dangerous to me, even though I think it’s supposed to be a “fairytale” picture. I just personally don’t take “love” from it. The rest of the page looks great, I think. I love the banner picture on the intro page. It reminds me of candy hearts and dimmed lighting like you might have on a romantic date. I love the Little Red retell, I think you did a good job with it. There was one spot where I was confused and didn’t understand exactly what was being said (I’ll note that below). The Cupid and Psyche re-tell should be awesome as well, I think. I like the idea of Psyche having complete control over her romantic path with Cupid, rather than being forced into it as in the original story. “The Little Mermaid” was absolutely one of my favorite shows when I was a child too, so I’m excited to read that one and find out what happens. I hope it isn’t TOO tragic. Lol. Good job on this overall, I think this is great!
Here are a few things I noticed that you might want to revise. Intro, 2nd to last paragraph, 2nd line: She obsessed over him and his charming looks, yet never messaging him. >> She obsessed over him and his charming looks, yet never messaged him. OR “She was obsessing over him and his charming looks, never messaging him” Little Red, 2nd paragraph, 5th line: However, she found that she had some really high *standard >> However, she found that she had some really high standards Little Red, 2nd paragraph: I searched the depths of my catalog until I found the perfect match -- B.B. Wolf. That was an almost-instant swipe to the right. >> This is the one that confused me. I had to read it multiple times and now I finally understand that Social Media is the one talking (or I think that’s the case) but I didn’t get that at first… I’m not really sure that’s an error on your part or anything but it might be something to think about. Maybe there is a way you can make it more obvious who is talking. Little Red, 2nd paragraph, 3rd line up from the bottom: I searched the depths of my catalog until I found the perfect match -- B.B. Wolf. Little Red: *So he stopped *a small flower shop on the way there. >> So, he stopped at a small flower shop on the way there. Little Red: Hauling the bouquet of flowers, he *ran the door bell. >> Hauling the bouquet of flowers, he rang the door bell.
Todd! I've read your storybook before and remember particularly liking the idea. I think it's super interesting that you're giving a twist on all the known stories and making them interesting again. I think that your introduction does a very good job of explaining the premise of your storybook and how they relate to the original stories. I think that your story of Little Red Riding Hood also does a very good job of retelling the story and making it interesting in a modern sense. I love that you included the tinder profile pictures and used conversations integrated into the story. I think it makes your story more interesting and keeps it modern. I think you did an excellent job with your story and your author's note makes it clear what you were trying to do. Overall I think you've done an excellent job and I really am struggling to give you anything that I would change about your story!
Hey Todd, your introduction is the perfect opening for your storybook. I like how you continually address the reader with many questions, that gets the reader much more involved in the reading. As I was reading, I was thinking about how much of a role social media does play in our lives. I thought of all the different fairy tales, and how they would've been written differently if they were written in a time like ours. In Little Red, the pictures were a perfect fit. You have such a great sense of humor, and I find it so cool that you were able to tell this story from social media's point of view. And oh yes, social media just thinks it's so great! Overall, this is such a unique story and idea! I didn't find any grammatical errors that stuck out to me, and I also was never lost nor confused! I can't wait to read the next story, and see what social media is stirring up then. I really did enjoy your storybook, great job!
Your introduction brims with personality in its diction and premise. It's very bold in claiming an untold truth exists in these classic tales and that what we've always known is flawed, drawing your readers in.
One detail I think might make it interesting for future readers is to leave "highlights, and a blunder" at just "highlights", making the reveal of The Little Mermaid more interesting.
There's a bit in your third paragraph that I think could do with some rewording, as it makes it seem like Cupid and Psyche are part of the same story, but I have little complaint here.
A solid introduction, overall!
Little Red:
Image presentation at the beginning is great; captures the reader's eye and funnels them into the story.
The humor also blends well, making humorous little nods or subversions to the original tale's material. However, I did not get the "15 year old" joke; do you mean they were too trusting or conversations like that are below maturity? It just felt like an awkwardly delivered joke.
I have few problems with the dialogue except in one instance with your fourth paragraph: it's hard to tell when the flower shop owner (at least I assume there is one...) and the huntsman are talking.
Lastly, I wanted to hear more about the ex-girlfriend's freak-out over the situation, since part of the story's intention from your introduction seems to be to reveal the truth behind these stories. Ergo, I got a little disappointed when the narrator decided to cut off the story so soon.
Overall, charming twist on the classic tale, just some minor things that confused me and leaving me wanting more unintentionally. Keep up the good work!
Hey! Your story sounds interesting. I always like modern twists on stories and this one definitely seems amusing, so I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes! I do like the examples you used and how social media affected the characters; I love the Little Mermaid one and how she's afraid to use her voice B-).
I am also very interested that you personified social media and how it takes over with love.
As for the first story, I like how you set up the format with the pictures on both sides! It looks clean and organized. I really like what you did and how you managed to incorporate the original story. It's easy to tell that you tied in elements from the original while making it your own at the same time. I love that the ex was the one who spread all the rumors-- nice thinking for that :^).
Good luck with your other stories! It seems great so far.
I love the revised Red riding hood story! Adding in social Media as a character really helps with adding in a new element into a previously old (and sort of boring) story. I like the idea of the Tinder pictures but I might change the wolf's into to a man just so it doesn't seem like the girl is dating an actual wolf. I was curious on why you decided to add the grandpa into the story since he does not really play too much into the main story. (or maybe find a way to give him more meaning into the story.) I have never used tinder so I don’t know how it works so when red is signing up for it you might want to explain the process. Thank you and I am excited to see what other people come together because of Media. Good luck with the rest of your stories!
I think your introduction does a good job of setting up your storybook. I do think however you could be more creative with it. Since your story is through the narration of Social Media, perhaps you could have him speaking instead in the introduction. Have him give a little background without giving too much away. Keep the reader guessing. Still, I'm intrigued by the introduction. I love the idea of twisting fairy tales like this and making them fresh and new and I love the idea of your characters having interactions through social media. It makes it so relatable, but also enjoyable. Let me just begin with your first story by saying I love how you created tinder profile pictures for your characters. That is so creative and it make me laugh. Great job at providing background to the two meeting. I'm curious to know if B.B. Wolf is an actual wolf, because while reading your story, it doesn't seem like he is, even though his profile picture is a wolf. Perhaps you could explain that better. Or you could explain that through this rumor the ex-girlfriend spread, a story grew and B.B. Wolf changed from a man to a wolf to make the fairy tale interesting. I would at least try to make it more clear what rumor the ex spread. Maybe you could explain that at the end. I also think I would like it if you added tags to the dialogue, like to tell us who is speaking and in what way they are speaking. I love the sweet interaction between the grandmother and Wolf. I think you did a really good job at twisting the original story and making it unique. The only thing I could suggest is, like I already said, you could add more about the ex at the end, like how she found out and what she said about the two. I also want to know if Red and Wolf stay together. Do they live happily ever after? You could add that at the end. Other than that, really good job and I really want to know what else you come up with!
Todd, I've read your storybook before when there was just one story and the introduction and I loved it. I think that you've done a great job incorporating pictures, conversation, etc. to make your stories interesting and I love the premise that you chose for your storybook. I think that your homepage could use a little work to make it more relevant to your stories. I think it looks nice but I don't exactly understand how the background picture relates to your storybook so maybe adding a picture where that's more clear would be a good idea. I think you hit it out of the park again with your Bad & Bougie story. I love the premise, your storytelling technique, the conversation, and the social media usage. I think that it's all integrated really nicely and that you've done a really good job with your storybook so far. I'm honestly having a really hard time giving any suggestions on how to make it better, besides working on the homepage a little more to make it more relevant and relatable to your storybook!
I can see why there are so many comments on the introduction to your storybook! Even with just a brief sense of what is to come in your storybook, I was definitely intrigued. Blending social media (such a popular platform in today's world) and tales (reminders of many people's childhood) is a great way to combine new and older childhood. I'm torn between reminders of the current stage in my life from the social media references, and reminders of my childhood when I heard those older tales. I think it's awesome how you were able to do that so well. I think you wrote the summaries of each story well (with some comical relief), but I had a little trouble with the one about Cupid and Psyche. The others were easy for me to grasp because I had heard/read the stories before, but I'm not very familiar with Cupid and Psyche. Maybe if you could provide a little more information as to how it is different from the original that would help. Overall, it was really awesome though!
When I read your introduction, I was not sure if your story would work. I mean it was an interesting concept but it seemed really difficult to pull it off and still keep pats of the original story. I was wrong. You did a wonderful job and your stories are awesome. I love how you keep the naivety of little red riding hood. Quick question- how does the ex-girlfriend get involved in Red’s and the Wolf’s relationship? I understand that she messed with the story, but how did she learn of the plot elements to begin with? Your second story. Only one thought. That sounds like a really bad relationship. When reading it, it seemed like they were only dating to spite their parents. If you could add anything to make it seem like they genuinely love each other it would feel less like a toxic relationship. One final note, I love your layout, I think you have done a really good job sectioning off different parts of the story. Great Job!
Wow, Todd, your Storybook is absolutely fantastic! I must say I'm pretty jealous of your ability to format the blog site and incorporate such pictures and breaks in the page. I wish mine looked that good! Your plot incorporation and storytelling technique had me absolutely cracking up the entire time I was reading! I love that you took well-known stories and put your own twists on them and I especially appreciated the sneaky inclusion of the wolf's characteristics between the grandmother and Little Red. Also, what a good idea to use screenshots of twitter and Tindr! I never would have thought of that but it really enhances your story! I am very impressed with how realistic you made each picture look and it really drew me into the story even further. I'm definitely invested now and excited to see how the rest of your story plays out! Best of luck!
Once again, you did an amazing job! What a great addition to your storybook Bad & Bougie is. I love how the images that you use are screenshots of their conversations, and actually help you tell the story. I also like how you section off the differing portions of this story, making it easier for me to keep up with what's going on. I didn't find any grammatical or problematic errors in this story either, I actually love the layout, and order in which you tell the story. Also, what a strange relationship that Cupid and Psyche have. I can see many similarities that you kept from the original story (which is good), but I can also see where you deviate from the original to make it more modern, which is what your "theme" is. You do a very good job at modernizing the old tales into what they could've been if written in this time period. Overall, great job! I can't wait to see what happens next!
I was laughing even before I read this simply because of the title. Psyche is the definition of bougie. You came up with an interesting take on this story and I think it turned out well! I liked how you separated the different parts of the story with the narrator’s commentary in the blue color block sections. I think it helped provide a necessary distinction and prevent confusion when you jumped back and forth between different characters. You also did a great job of relating this story to modern times, by having Cupid work for match.com and having Psyche work as a product tester. I loved the screenshots you included, they were humorous and they also helped further the character development. The only thing I would look at is in the last paragraph, “sisters were the ones who got cut off after their father once he noticed their obvious manipulation.” It just sounds a little awkward, so maybe just take out “once he” and it should be good. Great work!
Ok first off, I have to say how impressed I am by your storybook theme. This absolutely has to be one of the most creative themes I have seen. Genius! I love the style you are telling these stories in, it is so entertaining and I can’t wait to read more. This week I read your “Little Red’s Tinder Date” story. I was blown away! So fun to read! I love the tinder profile pictures, that is an awesome detail you added and it really adds a lot to the whole story. I also really like how you added their tinder conversation as part of the story, too. That was another really nice touch. I like how you took a traditional story that everybody is familiar with, and out your own unique, spin on it and turned it into something really relatable and modern. Great job!
I like the tale you focused on for this story. And I really like how you created the MySpace posts. It's really creative and it really adds to the story. Your characterization of Cupid is great. I love how you twisted his character from the original. And I love how Psyche is self-centered. I have a few comments on the story. Just a thought, and this has more to do with your last story. I wonder if you should italicize Social Media's narration in your first story like you do for this one. That's just something I noticed. Also, I like the dialogue you used and I like how you focused on the sister's jealousy and described it. I just feel like I'm missing the interaction between Cupid and Psyche. I want to know their thoughts. I enjoyed the interactions between Red and the Wolf from your last story, so I think you should add that in this story also. I feel like this story relies too much on the narrators, unlike your last one. I think if you just fix those few things, your story will be really great. I'm excited to see what else you come up with!
I love your second story! I like that Cupid ended up with a job at match.com. I did notice that you were missing a word in the fourth picture down that starts with "I told my mom about this girl ___(I?) have been dating..." I did not know if that was on purpose or not. I am glad that all your stories are ending up in happily ever after and that there is no serious damage coming to anyone. nice take on the sisters losing their allowance instead of them dying. You do a good job of explain the original story and how you transformed it in you authors note. I am curious on who the stranger(s) who keeps sending her stuff is and if it has anything to do with cupid. I Really like how it's coming along and I can't wait to read more of it! Happy writing!
Hey, Todd! I re-read your intro and read your first and second story for the first time. I think you're doing a great job with your stories so far, man! What I really enjoyed reading about was the way that you bring together your entire writing style. Also, your use of pictures and different colors throughout your stories help to set the mood for the stories. It feels to me like I'm on some social media site reading about two people interacting lol. Your first story about the Wolf and Red was noice! You incorporated the elements of the original story very well into your storybook. You made it believable as to why the versions that we are reading now are the incorrect versions. In short, the loose ends are tied up and that's what I liked about your story. In your second story you obviously did the same things that you did in your first story with all the details, which is great. What really left me hanging was how the two might have struggled in between that time in which they were both cut-off and didn't have any jobs. Obviously, for the sake of time I can see why you didn't include that. It was just a detail that I would have liked to read more about. Best of luck with your next story!
Hey Todd! I believe this is my first time reading your storybook, although I could be mistaken, but I love the layout of everything! I have wanted to use the texting screenshots on my storybook, but have not figured out how I could do that yet! I guess I should do a tech tip on that! I initially chose this storybook as I laughed pretty hard at the name and had to know which story was relating to that! Of course it was Cupid and Psyche! I should have guessed, as they are the most dramatic couple. I am glad you showed us the real story and made them full of sass and spunk! You modernized the characters and made them relatable to us, which made this story such a fun read! I hope to read another one of your stories soon and cannot wait to see which one you choose! Good Luck!
Hi Todd, Wow! I am so glad this week was free-choice. Ever since I read your first story, I have been checking back to see if you had any new stories. I had the opportunity to read your second story today, and I loved it. I have never heard of the original story, so this was all new to me. However, you did a really good job explaining the original story in your author's note. It was a story filled with climax and tension, and I was dying to know what happened next. However, I do have a couple of suggestions. The images for the conversations on social media were a little hard to read. Is there a way you could make them bigger but also still keep all of the text box layouts the same? I really liked how you separated that. I was also thinking maybe add some more images that are not of just the social media posts to help tie this story together a little more. Other than that, the storyline was great. It kept me reading and entertained. I really enjoyed it, and am glad I was able to revisit your storybook. Nice job!
Hi Todd! I originally looked at your storybook when it was only an introduction and I'm impressed with how far you've come! I scanned over the into once again and I enjoyed re reading and seeing some of the edits that you have done. I skipped the second story for the sake of time and focused on the third story. First, the title is genius. While it may not be genius in a few years and people may not get it at all, it really works for this class. I've had a friend in a situation where she was the main provider for her boyfriend and it never ended well. I know your theme is social media, but I would love to hear more about how these two characters in real life. All of the effort that you went through to get these myspace images of text is really commendable. However, myspace is not in style at all. They should have instagrams/snapchats if that is possible! Great story.
Hey Todd, After scrolling through the storybooks, yours was one that I really wanted to come back to. I felt that your idea was fun and that there were so many things that you could do with social media. I read your story about Little Red's Tinder Date and thought that you did an excellent job visualizing everything, even including your pictures. I could tell you put a lot of effort into creating the tinder picture and your idea for the story. I thought it was very interesting that you chose to romanticize the relationship between little red an the wolf. Why did you decide to do that? I also liked how you spaced everything out for different conversations. I feel like you did a great job of modernizing everything, even down to the "Woods" bar and grandma's lack of knowledge for technology. Did you do that on purpose? Overall, I think you did a great job and I will definitely be reading the other stories that you have written as well.
Hi Todd, I am glad that I finally got to read your storybook since it is about social media like mine. I love the direction you took your storybook, especially the whole idea of personifying Social Media. When I first read the introduction, I did not realize that Social Media was narrating. Was that done intentionally? It could be helpful to indicate that in the very beginning, but that could be just me! “Hairy relationship.” I loved that line! I am so glad that you added such great humor to your storybook. I also love the Tinder profile picture of Little Red! I enjoyed the messages between the two characters, and the motivation behind the wolf’s attraction for Little Red was fun to read about. I love all the little clever details you took the time to include like Little Red telling Wolf that he had amazing hair and the bar being named the Woods. I would like to know what came of Wolf’s ex-girlfriend! That could be a fun detail to add to that story if you decided you wanted to add more! I thought it was a nice touch to have the side by side statuses of Cupid and Psyche. Cupid working for Match.com is great, too! Nice job!
I can't believe it's taken me this long to read your storybook! I love the way you had Social Media bring all the lovers together! Definitely more realistic than Love in this modern age haha. The way you had pictures of their texting conversations and Myspace comments was great! It really helped get into the story and it was hilarious to read their thoughts. I can't to read what you have next for the Little Mermaid! I hope it's not too tragic. Also, the way you twist the details from the originals and make the new stories is really well done! I can recognize enough and know what you're referencing, but it's also really original! I love the title of Bad and Bougie for the Cupid and Psyche story as well. That was hilarious! The way you split up the story was really great as well! The blue lines and the additional info in them really helped and looked nice. Great job and I can't wait and see what's next!
Todd, I loved the aspect of the modern stories that you incorporated into your story book! It was also super interesting how you incorporated all of the social media themes into your stories and that is what initially made me click on your storybook! I feel like the formatting of your story was great with the placement of the pictures. I also love the amount of pictures that you used in your story. A lot of other storybooks only have one picture per section but yours definitely incorporated more and I think that was a great thing. This is the last week of class so I do not really have any suggestions for you to add into your story. The introduction was excellent and made me want to continue reading. I love the twist that you put on the little red riding hood story as well. Great job on this! It was a great read!
Todd, I wanted to check back in and see all the progress and changes that you have made throughout your storybook. I still love the idea that you came up with and was wanting to see the next form of social media that you chose. I really enjoyed the updates that you made since last time. I was a little thrown off by the blue block that you added in your last story, but was able to follow along just fine! I laughed at the last story, I thought it was very clever. I also could tell that you put a lot of work into creating a myspace for the pictures. I never would have thought of that! (I never used myspace, but that's beside the point) Your take on Cupid and Psyche was so modern and I enjoyed how you were able to transform it. I thought it was funny that the sisters were cut off. Did you have any other ideas for that part of the story? Overall, great work on your storybook. It was clear and easy to follow along and read.
In response to your comment on my intro, it's never too late to start playing tennis!! I can definitely offer up my expertise and take it to the court with you if you'd like! I plan to pick up playing again sometime this semester, hopefully!
ReplyDeleteI should also try challenging myself to read more, though time really does take a hold of me with work and school and other activities outside of those. Whenever I stop stressing, I'll definitely try to read more, because I can understand the trade-off between reading and watching films!
Hi Todd! I've decided to leave a comment on your the introduction to your storybook this week. I chose this storybook because of the name! I love stories that bring in the modern day with old myth and folklore stories. Also, retweet has become a word that is so common in youth culture today even though just a few years ago many people wouldn't even know what that means. I chuckled throughout reading your introduction. It was very funny the way that you've used humor to talk about your stories. I like that at the end you've also made a point about our society. I think older generations are too quick to judge young people that have met online as well as younger people are too quick to assume a relationship won't last if those are the circumstances among which people have met in the first place. If this was my storybook, I would continue with the humor as well as having the social message in there, too. Great job!
ReplyDeleteYour intro is very intriguing! It gives me a good sense of what’s to come. You’ve clearly outlined three different classic stories and put an interesting spin on them. But it doesn’t give too much away, which makes me want to read more. I think the Little Mermaid story grabs my attention the most—she sounds a little crazy. And fun to read about.
ReplyDeleteSo, are you going to write these stories in chatlog-type formats? Or through twitter or facebook posts? That’s the impression I get. It would work perfectly—like epistolary novels with a modern twist. I also thought it was cool to see nods to things in the original works, like the Little Mermaid being afraid to speak. Those little details are very clever.
There’s not much I can critique right now, but maybe you could add a few specific details into each story blurb—something that would evoke a certain place or a certain look for a character. Like if you mentioned Red Riding Hood’s cherry-red beanie, or mentioned that the Little Mermaid found the guy’s wallet on the street outside her favorite antique store. Stuff like that. But other than that, it looks great!
Your intro was great! It was a really unique idea to combine social media and fairytales. You also did a great job incorporating your subtle humor throughout the whole thing while still explicitly laying out the three stories to come. You gave just enough information of the story you would be discussing to draw the reader in and leave them wanting to know what comes next. I like how you worked in the lingo of the app you were talking about. I am interested to see if the formatting of each story differs based on what app the characters are supposed to be communicating through. It was clever to personify Love and Social Media, it gave you another way to approach them and give commentary on them from the viewpoint of different generations. I also like how you took a side and gave your opinion on social media, even though it can get a bad rap. I am really looking forward to reading your other stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Todd!
ReplyDeleteWow, I really was fascinated by the layout of your project's website! The images were perfectly designed in way to make readers interested in what you have written about! The introduction was definitely exciting to read! It really captured my attention, and the way you personified love and social media was captivating. I wonder if your introduction would be stronger if you were to give some type of idea of what a reader is about to read on the cover page of your website. What if you added a small blurb that would get the reader to click the introduction? I automatically knew to click the introduction as part of the assignment, but in the case that someone visits your site without any knowledge, maybe the coverpage could guide them in the right direction. I also really admired your title, because I was able to infer that this project had to do with some aspect of social media! I noticed that you chose the words "love at first retweet"! What if you also incorporated Twitter somehow in your introduction?! This is absolutely wonderful, and I really am looking forward to seeing how you build up your project and read more about what is to come! Nice job!!!
I really like your idea of using modern technology as a part of your storybook. I think that your Tinder story is pretty funny! It is very creative! I think that what you have so far will make your storybook really great!
ReplyDeleteI am really curious about each of the stories that you will include in your storybook! You have such a big range, so you can really include a lot of detail into the work. While writing your stories, I feel like the descriptions are going to be a really important part of the storytelling!
I like the design of your storybook. It is simple but effective!
In some parts you used a lot of the same adjectives. What if you changed these up a bit to add more to the introduction? Specifically, this happened when you said “Psyche and her jealous sisters. Now, they were definitely jealous”. We already know that they were jealous, so maybe you could switch up the second jealous to another descriptive word.
Hi Todd!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was so much fun to read, and made me look forward to your storybook! My favorite part is how you incorporated Social Media with classic stories. It’s crazy to see how many people do find love through Social Media, and how people actually use some of these websites because it is efficient and quick. However, I am more curious about what you mean by “He doesn’t do it the old way!” I felt lost when I read that, so maybe you could elaborate more on what you want your readers to understand in the last paragraph. What if you put a comma, or a dash after that sentence, and just elaborate by starting off an explanation with the word “meaning,” and then continue to explain. It’s just a suggestion, but I truly loved your intro, and the picture you used with the pink heart. It’s simple, but caught my attention.
Hey Todd! This introduction was so catchy and fun to read! You are clearly so creative in ways I envy! Lol. I basically felt the ‘wow’ factory the whole time with the way you personified love, social media, and algorithm. It was brilliant! It actually took me a while to catch onto the fact that you were doing that… But I don’t think it was because you did anything wrong, it just always takes me a while to catch on. I like how you kind of make the reader wonder what’s coming next, you made me want to keep reading! I’m trying to think of things I can critique you on, but I really did love this post. The lay out of your storybook is clear and appealing, your paragraphs are split up nicely. Great job on the intro Todd, I can’t wait to come back and read more!
ReplyDeleteHey Todd! Your introduction was a joy to read! It really portrayed your creativity and made me excited as a reader to read more of your stories! To start off your title was very catchy and made me interested about what perspective you had on the topic of love. I enjoyed how you portrayed the contrast in perspectives of love and how it is related the development of technology and social media. What was the motive of choosing this topic if you don't mind me asking? I am interested in seeing what stories you are going to make out of these ideas. Good job and looking forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteSo I find this very interesting. I feel like there is more going on that what is at the surface but I am struggling to follow along. One of the reasons could be that I am quite a bit older than you, most likely. That said, what if you were telling this story to your parents or perhaps your grandparents? Some these concepts, believe it or not, everyone might not understand the concept for instance of them “going thru a Myspace phase” I barely did. What if you elaborated on the concepts a bit more for the purpose of drawing in your reader. The idea that each of these concepts are actually people with personalities is a pretty cool idea. You are breathing life into these concepts and making them capable of feeling etc…. I think that is an original idea with some very great potential. What if the concepts started talking to us and were able to better showcase their personality?
ReplyDeleteYour title caught my eye! That is such a modern twist on love in this age. I like the photo you used for your intro page as well. This is a really fun and comedic storyboard; I am so glad I viewed it. The different social media platforms are great, I even cracked up when MySpace was mentioned.
ReplyDeleteThough there are sections briefly describing upcoming characters, I wish there was a little more descriptions of them in addition to their backstories. The title is Love at First Retweet, but I do not think I read anything about Twitter or a retweet? That is just a nitpicky thing, so incorporate Twitter in there somehow and it will be perfect. Love and Social Media… I’m so fascinated by this concept, and coming up with critiques was an extremely difficult task. Great idea! I am excited to see how your stories develop throughout this semester!
Todd,
ReplyDeleteYou introduction is great. You do such a good job at getting the reader's attention and getting us excited to see what comes next. I think it is awesome how you are taking the stories we have read and putting a very different spin on them by using social media. I have not seen anyone do that yet and its cool that you decided to. Social media is critical in our society to stay connected and I am interested to see how you use it to form your stories. I really liked also that you used quirky dialogue to speak about what was to come next. It wasn't just reading words off the page but felt as if you were communication right to us as if we were in front of you. Your blog is also humorous which makes it a very entertaining read for those of us we will be following your stories.
Hey Todd! First off, I need to tell you that I am incredibly excited for your storybook! I cannot wait to see what happens when you talk more about other couples and tell us their stories of how they came together. I love when people modernize stories! I feel that it gives the characters a chance to become more and more relatable. I felt like you were talking to me rather than me reading something and I feel that itself is a huge accomplishment for a writer! I can also imagine that social media can get us into all kinds of trouble which is why I can't wait to hear all about the misunderstandings, fights, crazy wars, etc. that are caused by all of the social media that is now available to all of these characters! Good Luck! I can't wait to read your first story.
ReplyDeleteHi Todd! First of all, thank you for your suggestions with my storybook project. They were super helpful! I think it is awesome that you are using social media in your project as well! Also, your title is great! I think it is awesome how you have personified Social Media, but I would like pre background on who Social Media is as a person. I would also like the same for the Algorithm, only because I was a little confused. There were a lot of characters being thrown out there, but it is nice that most of them were familiar! I enjoyed the humor throughout the introduction, and I hope that it continues in your stories! I loved your inclusion of the red beanie detail, as well as your clever inclusion of the idea that the Little Mermaid just wouldn't use her voice. It really helped me identify with your stories because those were very familiar details. I am excited to see your new versions of these classic stories!
ReplyDeleteI love how you made social media a person. I like that you also brought out some of the popular media outlets to show how Social Media is connected to these stories. You did a great job of tying in your stories! I am excited to see what you do with the little mermaid, and I like how you made it out as though she lost her voice in a way. you are definitely leaving me on the edge of my seat with making it sound as though it won't be a happy ending! The Algorithm sort of threw me off, I did not really connect at first that they were a person. If you are looking to expand your story I would add a few more details on who these characters are. Over all great introduction that sets you up for great stories! I am excited to see how Social media and The Algorithm play into your stories!
ReplyDeleteTodd, I like where you're going with your intro! I never even thought about giving human qualities to social media and the like. That's pretty ingenious, I'll give you that! So, I'll just leave you some of my comments on your intro.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, my mind was blown from your first paragraph when you wrote that Love was tired from doing its job. At first I was confused, but I started to understand pretty quick what you were doing. It'll definitely be interesting to read about how you work with this in your future stories!
Secondly, I like how you draw from three different sources for your stories. I never thought about Red and the Wolf as going steady haha.
Thirdly, after reading your intro I was thinking if you were going to have any conflict between Love, Social Media, and Innovation? Seeing as they're old vs. new in a way. I thought this might be an interesting thing to write about/include in your stories. It could also be a reason(s) why some relationships didn't work out?
Anyway, great intro man!
Todd,
ReplyDeleteI loved the idea you had for your storybook! I think it is so clever and that there are so many different things you can do with the social media "tweeting" aspect of the story. I like how you give information of what is to come in your stories. I think you should consider making a character list, so that we could know what to expect or who to expect in the stories that you are going to write. It would help to make it more clear on where the tweets are coming from and the types of personalities behind them. Other than that, I am really looking forward for everything that you have to come.
Todd, this is a really creative idea! I think a great way to go about it is to set up each story with a social media platform layout. For example, the Cupid and Psyche story could be told through Myspace and their messages between each other/bulletin posts. Rather than just telling us what happened it'd be neat for you to show us. If that's what you were already planning on doing then I can't wait to see how it turns out, if not, think about it! Unless your idea is way cooler, then of course go for that. The best trick I've learned from storytelling is introducing "spines" for each character. It's basically a behavior that they have and the reason/event/motto they act that way no matter the situation. It challenges you more as a writer too, to write toward a character's personality rather than just adding in some drama and random reactions. My favorite example for character spines is Chandler from "Friends," his parents got divorced and dad dresses like a woman, so he found humor to cope with that event, now he uses humor to combat obstacles in his adulthood. Maybe these can be explained in their bios? Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteTodd, I just read through your storybook introduction and your first story. I must say, I think you're off to a great start! I think it's interesting that you're taking the old stories and sensationalizing them with modern things like tinder. I love that you included photos in your story that were super relatable, and definitely showed a lot of effort and thought. I also love that you included the tinder "chat"- I think that this makes your story that much more relatable and interesting. I think that you did a very good job of integrating social media chat, conversations, and story into your storytelling. I think that you did a very good job and honestly I'm having a hard time coming up with any suggestions for you! I think that your introduction was perfect for your storybook and gives a good insight into what you're writing about, as well as your writing style.
ReplyDeleteI remembered reading your introduction a while ago, so I was excited to see how your first story turned out! You did a great job! Just some quick typo fixes, "she had some really high standard" -- just adding an s to make it "standards" and "very important to Little Red, So he stopped" -- the s in "so" doesn't need to be capitalized. You did a great job of integrating the messaging format within the paragraph format. Ha I laughed at the 15 year old comment because this does remind me of instant messaging in middle school. You did a good job of capturing the slight awkwardness that is starting online communication. Your reimagined version of this story makes a believable love story between Red and the wolf. I like how you took the two who were enemies in the original story and made them love interests. This story almost makes me forget everything I have learned about the wolf growing up. Your writing style is very conversational and easy to read. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi, Todd!
ReplyDeleteThe last time I read your introduction, I knew I had to come back and read more. I absolutely am a fan of your concept. The first paragraph sets the perfect mood for the rest of the story. A small question I found myself asking was, but why is love capitalized? Is that for emphasis? Haha, I laughed at Big Bad’s real name. The whole story had me chuckling. I know Tinder as a platform people use to basically have one night stands, but you had the characters meeting family already! That is a big shock to the normal use of Tinder. The plot twist throughout the story was a great touch. It was nice to see something different from what I knew growing up. The wolf is even a gentle soul here. I am super excited to read more throughout the semester! Keep up the good work.
Hey, I just read your storybook project. First, I’d like to say that I love the idea you have for your storybook project and I think it’ll be a fun one to read as it develops!
ReplyDeleteI mostly like the look of your page but the banner photo on the first page threw me off a little bit. It seems like the theme for all your stories will be about love and that picture on the first page of the woods just doesn’t really portray that to me. It seems dark and dangerous to me, even though I think it’s supposed to be a “fairytale” picture. I just personally don’t take “love” from it. The rest of the page looks great, I think. I love the banner picture on the intro page. It reminds me of candy hearts and dimmed lighting like you might have on a romantic date.
I love the Little Red retell, I think you did a good job with it. There was one spot where I was confused and didn’t understand exactly what was being said (I’ll note that below). The Cupid and Psyche re-tell should be awesome as well, I think. I like the idea of Psyche having complete control over her romantic path with Cupid, rather than being forced into it as in the original story. “The Little Mermaid” was absolutely one of my favorite shows when I was a child too, so I’m excited to read that one and find out what happens. I hope it isn’t TOO tragic. Lol. Good job on this overall, I think this is great!
Here are a few things I noticed that you might want to revise.
Intro, 2nd to last paragraph, 2nd line: She obsessed over him and his charming looks, yet never messaging him. >> She obsessed over him and his charming looks, yet never messaged him. OR “She was obsessing over him and his charming looks, never messaging him”
Little Red, 2nd paragraph, 5th line: However, she found that she had some really high *standard >> However, she found that she had some really high standards
Little Red, 2nd paragraph: I searched the depths of my catalog until I found the perfect match -- B.B. Wolf. That was an almost-instant swipe to the right. >> This is the one that confused me. I had to read it multiple times and now I finally understand that Social Media is the one talking (or I think that’s the case) but I didn’t get that at first… I’m not really sure that’s an error on your part or anything but it might be something to think about. Maybe there is a way you can make it more obvious who is talking.
Little Red, 2nd paragraph, 3rd line up from the bottom: I searched the depths of my catalog until I found the perfect match -- B.B. Wolf.
Little Red: *So he stopped *a small flower shop on the way there. >> So, he stopped at a small flower shop on the way there.
Little Red: Hauling the bouquet of flowers, he *ran the door bell. >> Hauling the bouquet of flowers, he rang the door bell.
Todd! I've read your storybook before and remember particularly liking the idea. I think it's super interesting that you're giving a twist on all the known stories and making them interesting again. I think that your introduction does a very good job of explaining the premise of your storybook and how they relate to the original stories. I think that your story of Little Red Riding Hood also does a very good job of retelling the story and making it interesting in a modern sense. I love that you included the tinder profile pictures and used conversations integrated into the story. I think it makes your story more interesting and keeps it modern. I think you did an excellent job with your story and your author's note makes it clear what you were trying to do. Overall I think you've done an excellent job and I really am struggling to give you anything that I would change about your story!
ReplyDeleteHey Todd, your introduction is the perfect opening for your storybook. I like how you continually address the reader with many questions, that gets the reader much more involved in the reading. As I was reading, I was thinking about how much of a role social media does play in our lives. I thought of all the different fairy tales, and how they would've been written differently if they were written in a time like ours.
ReplyDeleteIn Little Red, the pictures were a perfect fit. You have such a great sense of humor, and I find it so cool that you were able to tell this story from social media's point of view. And oh yes, social media just thinks it's so great!
Overall, this is such a unique story and idea! I didn't find any grammatical errors that stuck out to me, and I also was never lost nor confused! I can't wait to read the next story, and see what social media is stirring up then. I really did enjoy your storybook, great job!
Introduction:
ReplyDeleteYour introduction brims with personality in its diction and premise. It's very bold in claiming an untold truth exists in these classic tales and that what we've always known is flawed, drawing your readers in.
One detail I think might make it interesting for future readers is to leave "highlights, and a blunder" at just "highlights", making the reveal of The Little Mermaid more interesting.
There's a bit in your third paragraph that I think could do with some rewording, as it makes it seem like Cupid and Psyche are part of the same story, but I have little complaint here.
A solid introduction, overall!
Little Red:
Image presentation at the beginning is great; captures the reader's eye and funnels them into the story.
The humor also blends well, making humorous little nods or subversions to the original tale's material. However, I did not get the "15 year old" joke; do you mean they were too trusting or conversations like that are below maturity? It just felt like an awkwardly delivered joke.
I have few problems with the dialogue except in one instance with your fourth paragraph: it's hard to tell when the flower shop owner (at least I assume there is one...) and the huntsman are talking.
Lastly, I wanted to hear more about the ex-girlfriend's freak-out over the situation, since part of the story's intention from your introduction seems to be to reveal the truth behind these stories. Ergo, I got a little disappointed when the narrator decided to cut off the story so soon.
Overall, charming twist on the classic tale, just some minor things that confused me and leaving me wanting more unintentionally. Keep up the good work!
Hey! Your story sounds interesting. I always like modern twists on stories and this one definitely seems amusing, so I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes! I do like the examples you used and how social media affected the characters; I love the Little Mermaid one and how she's afraid to use her voice B-).
ReplyDeleteI am also very interested that you personified social media and how it takes over with love.
As for the first story, I like how you set up the format with the pictures on both sides! It looks clean and organized. I really like what you did and how you managed to incorporate the original story. It's easy to tell that you tied in elements from the original while making it your own at the same time. I love that the ex was the one who spread all the rumors-- nice thinking for that :^).
Good luck with your other stories! It seems great so far.
I love the revised Red riding hood story! Adding in social Media as a character really helps with adding in a new element into a previously old (and sort of boring) story. I like the idea of the Tinder pictures but I might change the wolf's into to a man just so it doesn't seem like the girl is dating an actual wolf. I was curious on why you decided to add the grandpa into the story since he does not really play too much into the main story. (or maybe find a way to give him more meaning into the story.) I have never used tinder so I don’t know how it works so when red is signing up for it you might want to explain the process. Thank you and I am excited to see what other people come together because of Media. Good luck with the rest of your stories!
ReplyDeleteI think your introduction does a good job of setting up your storybook. I do think however you could be more creative with it. Since your story is through the narration of Social Media, perhaps you could have him speaking instead in the introduction. Have him give a little background without giving too much away. Keep the reader guessing. Still, I'm intrigued by the introduction. I love the idea of twisting fairy tales like this and making them fresh and new and I love the idea of your characters having interactions through social media. It makes it so relatable, but also enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteLet me just begin with your first story by saying I love how you created tinder profile pictures for your characters. That is so creative and it make me laugh.
Great job at providing background to the two meeting. I'm curious to know if B.B. Wolf is an actual wolf, because while reading your story, it doesn't seem like he is, even though his profile picture is a wolf. Perhaps you could explain that better. Or you could explain that through this rumor the ex-girlfriend spread, a story grew and B.B. Wolf changed from a man to a wolf to make the fairy tale interesting. I would at least try to make it more clear what rumor the ex spread. Maybe you could explain that at the end. I also think I would like it if you added tags to the dialogue, like to tell us who is speaking and in what way they are speaking.
I love the sweet interaction between the grandmother and Wolf. I think you did a really good job at twisting the original story and making it unique. The only thing I could suggest is, like I already said, you could add more about the ex at the end, like how she found out and what she said about the two. I also want to know if Red and Wolf stay together. Do they live happily ever after? You could add that at the end. Other than that, really good job and I really want to know what else you come up with!
Todd,
ReplyDeleteI've read your storybook before when there was just one story and the introduction and I loved it. I think that you've done a great job incorporating pictures, conversation, etc. to make your stories interesting and I love the premise that you chose for your storybook. I think that your homepage could use a little work to make it more relevant to your stories. I think it looks nice but I don't exactly understand how the background picture relates to your storybook so maybe adding a picture where that's more clear would be a good idea. I think you hit it out of the park again with your Bad & Bougie story. I love the premise, your storytelling technique, the conversation, and the social media usage. I think that it's all integrated really nicely and that you've done a really good job with your storybook so far. I'm honestly having a really hard time giving any suggestions on how to make it better, besides working on the homepage a little more to make it more relevant and relatable to your storybook!
I can see why there are so many comments on the introduction to your storybook! Even with just a brief sense of what is to come in your storybook, I was definitely intrigued. Blending social media (such a popular platform in today's world) and tales (reminders of many people's childhood) is a great way to combine new and older childhood. I'm torn between reminders of the current stage in my life from the social media references, and reminders of my childhood when I heard those older tales. I think it's awesome how you were able to do that so well. I think you wrote the summaries of each story well (with some comical relief), but I had a little trouble with the one about Cupid and Psyche. The others were easy for me to grasp because I had heard/read the stories before, but I'm not very familiar with Cupid and Psyche. Maybe if you could provide a little more information as to how it is different from the original that would help. Overall, it was really awesome though!
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your introduction, I was not sure if your story would work. I mean it was an interesting concept but it seemed really difficult to pull it off and still keep pats of the original story. I was wrong. You did a wonderful job and your stories are awesome. I love how you keep the naivety of little red riding hood. Quick question- how does the ex-girlfriend get involved in Red’s and the Wolf’s relationship? I understand that she messed with the story, but how did she learn of the plot elements to begin with? Your second story. Only one thought. That sounds like a really bad relationship. When reading it, it seemed like they were only dating to spite their parents. If you could add anything to make it seem like they genuinely love each other it would feel less like a toxic relationship. One final note, I love your layout, I think you have done a really good job sectioning off different parts of the story. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteWow, Todd, your Storybook is absolutely fantastic! I must say I'm pretty jealous of your ability to format the blog site and incorporate such pictures and breaks in the page. I wish mine looked that good!
ReplyDeleteYour plot incorporation and storytelling technique had me absolutely cracking up the entire time I was reading! I love that you took well-known stories and put your own twists on them and I especially appreciated the sneaky inclusion of the wolf's characteristics between the grandmother and Little Red.
Also, what a good idea to use screenshots of twitter and Tindr! I never would have thought of that but it really enhances your story! I am very impressed with how realistic you made each picture look and it really drew me into the story even further.
I'm definitely invested now and excited to see how the rest of your story plays out! Best of luck!
Once again, you did an amazing job! What a great addition to your storybook Bad & Bougie is. I love how the images that you use are screenshots of their conversations, and actually help you tell the story. I also like how you section off the differing portions of this story, making it easier for me to keep up with what's going on. I didn't find any grammatical or problematic errors in this story either, I actually love the layout, and order in which you tell the story.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what a strange relationship that Cupid and Psyche have. I can see many similarities that you kept from the original story (which is good), but I can also see where you deviate from the original to make it more modern, which is what your "theme" is. You do a very good job at modernizing the old tales into what they could've been if written in this time period.
Overall, great job! I can't wait to see what happens next!
I was laughing even before I read this simply because of the title. Psyche is the definition of bougie. You came up with an interesting take on this story and I think it turned out well! I liked how you separated the different parts of the story with the narrator’s commentary in the blue color block sections. I think it helped provide a necessary distinction and prevent confusion when you jumped back and forth between different characters. You also did a great job of relating this story to modern times, by having Cupid work for match.com and having Psyche work as a product tester. I loved the screenshots you included, they were humorous and they also helped further the character development. The only thing I would look at is in the last paragraph, “sisters were the ones who got cut off after their father once he noticed their obvious manipulation.” It just sounds a little awkward, so maybe just take out “once he” and it should be good. Great work!
ReplyDeleteHey Todd,
ReplyDeleteOk first off, I have to say how impressed I am by your storybook theme. This absolutely has to be one of the most creative themes I have seen. Genius! I love the style you are telling these stories in, it is so entertaining and I can’t wait to read more. This week I read your “Little Red’s Tinder Date” story. I was blown away! So fun to read! I love the tinder profile pictures, that is an awesome detail you added and it really adds a lot to the whole story. I also really like how you added their tinder conversation as part of the story, too. That was another really nice touch. I like how you took a traditional story that everybody is familiar with, and out your own unique, spin on it and turned it into something really relatable and modern. Great job!
I like the tale you focused on for this story. And I really like how you created the MySpace posts. It's really creative and it really adds to the story. Your characterization of Cupid is great. I love how you twisted his character from the original. And I love how Psyche is self-centered. I have a few comments on the story. Just a thought, and this has more to do with your last story. I wonder if you should italicize Social Media's narration in your first story like you do for this one. That's just something I noticed. Also, I like the dialogue you used and I like how you focused on the sister's jealousy and described it. I just feel like I'm missing the interaction between Cupid and Psyche. I want to know their thoughts. I enjoyed the interactions between Red and the Wolf from your last story, so I think you should add that in this story also. I feel like this story relies too much on the narrators, unlike your last one. I think if you just fix those few things, your story will be really great. I'm excited to see what else you come up with!
ReplyDeleteI love your second story! I like that Cupid ended up with a job at match.com. I did notice that you were missing a word in the fourth picture down that starts with "I told my mom about this girl ___(I?) have been dating..." I did not know if that was on purpose or not. I am glad that all your stories are ending up in happily ever after and that there is no serious damage coming to anyone. nice take on the sisters losing their allowance instead of them dying. You do a good job of explain the original story and how you transformed it in you authors note. I am curious on who the stranger(s) who keeps sending her stuff is and if it has anything to do with cupid. I Really like how it's coming along and I can't wait to read more of it! Happy writing!
ReplyDeleteHey, Todd! I re-read your intro and read your first and second story for the first time. I think you're doing a great job with your stories so far, man! What I really enjoyed reading about was the way that you bring together your entire writing style. Also, your use of pictures and different colors throughout your stories help to set the mood for the stories. It feels to me like I'm on some social media site reading about two people interacting lol.
ReplyDeleteYour first story about the Wolf and Red was noice! You incorporated the elements of the original story very well into your storybook. You made it believable as to why the versions that we are reading now are the incorrect versions. In short, the loose ends are tied up and that's what I liked about your story.
In your second story you obviously did the same things that you did in your first story with all the details, which is great. What really left me hanging was how the two might have struggled in between that time in which they were both cut-off and didn't have any jobs. Obviously, for the sake of time I can see why you didn't include that. It was just a detail that I would have liked to read more about. Best of luck with your next story!
Hey Todd!
ReplyDeleteI believe this is my first time reading your storybook, although I could be mistaken, but I love the layout of everything! I have wanted to use the texting screenshots on my storybook, but have not figured out how I could do that yet! I guess I should do a tech tip on that! I initially chose this storybook as I laughed pretty hard at the name and had to know which story was relating to that! Of course it was Cupid and Psyche! I should have guessed, as they are the most dramatic couple. I am glad you showed us the real story and made them full of sass and spunk! You modernized the characters and made them relatable to us, which made this story such a fun read! I hope to read another one of your stories soon and cannot wait to see which one you choose! Good Luck!
Hi Todd,
ReplyDeleteWow! I am so glad this week was free-choice. Ever since I read your first story, I have been checking back to see if you had any new stories. I had the opportunity to read your second story today, and I loved it. I have never heard of the original story, so this was all new to me. However, you did a really good job explaining the original story in your author's note. It was a story filled with climax and tension, and I was dying to know what happened next. However, I do have a couple of suggestions. The images for the conversations on social media were a little hard to read. Is there a way you could make them bigger but also still keep all of the text box layouts the same? I really liked how you separated that. I was also thinking maybe add some more images that are not of just the social media posts to help tie this story together a little more. Other than that, the storyline was great. It kept me reading and entertained. I really enjoyed it, and am glad I was able to revisit your storybook. Nice job!
Hi Todd! I originally looked at your storybook when it was only an introduction and I'm impressed with how far you've come! I scanned over the into once again and I enjoyed re reading and seeing some of the edits that you have done. I skipped the second story for the sake of time and focused on the third story. First, the title is genius. While it may not be genius in a few years and people may not get it at all, it really works for this class. I've had a friend in a situation where she was the main provider for her boyfriend and it never ended well. I know your theme is social media, but I would love to hear more about how these two characters in real life. All of the effort that you went through to get these myspace images of text is really commendable. However, myspace is not in style at all. They should have instagrams/snapchats if that is possible! Great story.
ReplyDeleteHey Todd,
ReplyDeleteAfter scrolling through the storybooks, yours was one that I really wanted to come back to. I felt that your idea was fun and that there were so many things that you could do with social media. I read your story about Little Red's Tinder Date and thought that you did an excellent job visualizing everything, even including your pictures. I could tell you put a lot of effort into creating the tinder picture and your idea for the story. I thought it was very interesting that you chose to romanticize the relationship between little red an the wolf. Why did you decide to do that? I also liked how you spaced everything out for different conversations. I feel like you did a great job of modernizing everything, even down to the "Woods" bar and grandma's lack of knowledge for technology. Did you do that on purpose? Overall, I think you did a great job and I will definitely be reading the other stories that you have written as well.
Hi Todd,
ReplyDeleteI am glad that I finally got to read your storybook since it is about social media like mine. I love the direction you took your storybook, especially the whole idea of personifying Social Media. When I first read the introduction, I did not realize that Social Media was narrating. Was that done intentionally? It could be helpful to indicate that in the very beginning, but that could be just me! “Hairy relationship.” I loved that line! I am so glad that you added such great humor to your storybook. I also love the Tinder profile picture of Little Red! I enjoyed the messages between the two characters, and the motivation behind the wolf’s attraction for Little Red was fun to read about. I love all the little clever details you took the time to include like Little Red telling Wolf that he had amazing hair and the bar being named the Woods. I would like to know what came of Wolf’s ex-girlfriend! That could be a fun detail to add to that story if you decided you wanted to add more! I thought it was a nice touch to have the side by side statuses of Cupid and Psyche. Cupid working for Match.com is great, too! Nice job!
I can't believe it's taken me this long to read your storybook! I love the way you had Social Media bring all the lovers together! Definitely more realistic than Love in this modern age haha. The way you had pictures of their texting conversations and Myspace comments was great! It really helped get into the story and it was hilarious to read their thoughts. I can't to read what you have next for the Little Mermaid! I hope it's not too tragic. Also, the way you twist the details from the originals and make the new stories is really well done! I can recognize enough and know what you're referencing, but it's also really original! I love the title of Bad and Bougie for the Cupid and Psyche story as well. That was hilarious! The way you split up the story was really great as well! The blue lines and the additional info in them really helped and looked nice.
ReplyDeleteGreat job and I can't wait and see what's next!
Todd, I loved the aspect of the modern stories that you incorporated into your story book! It was also super interesting how you incorporated all of the social media themes into your stories and that is what initially made me click on your storybook! I feel like the formatting of your story was great with the placement of the pictures. I also love the amount of pictures that you used in your story. A lot of other storybooks only have one picture per section but yours definitely incorporated more and I think that was a great thing. This is the last week of class so I do not really have any suggestions for you to add into your story. The introduction was excellent and made me want to continue reading. I love the twist that you put on the little red riding hood story as well. Great job on this! It was a great read!
ReplyDeleteTodd,
ReplyDeleteI wanted to check back in and see all the progress and changes that you have made throughout your storybook. I still love the idea that you came up with and was wanting to see the next form of social media that you chose. I really enjoyed the updates that you made since last time. I was a little thrown off by the blue block that you added in your last story, but was able to follow along just fine! I laughed at the last story, I thought it was very clever. I also could tell that you put a lot of work into creating a myspace for the pictures. I never would have thought of that! (I never used myspace, but that's beside the point) Your take on Cupid and Psyche was so modern and I enjoyed how you were able to transform it. I thought it was funny that the sisters were cut off. Did you have any other ideas for that part of the story? Overall, great work on your storybook. It was clear and easy to follow along and read.