Telling Tales: Feedback Thoughts

Something that resonated with me is the idea that we should look for the positive feedback and not just the negative feedback. I feel like the word "feedback" carries a negative connotation because it is meant for improvement. How do you improve? Take the bad and make it better. It can definitely be hard to accept positive feedback, but it's essential because whether we realize it or not, the positive aspects are just as important as the negative aspects. And beyond that, just because something can be improved doesn't mean it wasn't something positive. Similarly, a big aspect of feedback that can be difficult to manage is separating you as a person from your performance. Many times it's easy to slip into the mindset that your final product directly reflects you as a person. Clearly, this is not true, but when in that position, it sure feels like it. It's all about the mindset you are in when receiving feedback. Choose to only see the negative, and you will live in the negative.

In regards to giving feedback, I am quickly reminded of the growth vs. fixed mindset. A large component of that philosophy is praising effort, not results. Like the "Narcissism vs. Healthy Self-Esteem" explains, when giving praise, it is vital to not inflate someone's ego. That only will incentivize they remain at that level of effort and comfortability. However, it should not be thought that positive feedback is bad. In fact, it should be encouraged. It's just all about phrasing. Let them know how the positive feedback directly relates to the work ethic or persistence in that particular project or task. Compliment them overcoming challenging and difficult tasks. Make sure they know the effort was worth it. The change in the way of providing praise has shown more and more to be key. Even the Army is now using this method because it, so far, has been the best way of improving people.

I personally believe I have made huge strides in improving how I give feedback. At first, my feedback was weak. After all, the only form of feedback I had been exposed up until that point was an out-of-one-hundred grade written in deep red at the top of my assignments. Where was the constructivism? But after joining the Union Programming Board freshman year of college, I've seen a major improvement in my feedback. It's no surprise that an organization that remains critical of itself would teach its critics (read: members) how to properly critique. It's not something easy to learn to do. You have to learn what constitutes good feedback, you have to learn to not let emotions sway feedback, and you have to learn how to balance the positive and the negative. Too much of one or the other can lead the receiver to dismiss the other, leaving you in a debatably worse situation.